October Chemo and Other Stuff

K at Build-A-Bear post clinic

Today’s clinic visit was very stressful for Kennedy.  As visits become less frequent, she has started to develop anxiety about having her port accessed.  Mom and dad have the same anxiety.  When she was first diagnosed everything seamed surreal and we became numb to the needles and treatments.  Now the treatments are traumatic for all of us and we drove to clinic in silence.

The visit itself was overall good, K had a spinal infusion of methotrexate (aka intrathecal). This treatment infuses chemo into her spine to prevent any rogue cancer cells from traveling to her brain.  

Dr. Sarvita was our doctor for treatment today and K adores her.  We spent extra time waiting for counts since the tube (kind of like what they have the banks to bring money from car to teller) was broken and no one knew it so her blood work didn’t make it to the lab when it was supposed to– this added an additional hour to today’s visit and procedure. 

Kennedy’s counts came back extremely high (over 3500) which is very odd.  They think it is likely due to her possibly having some type of virus and her body fighting it off.  The doctors weren’t too worried and the high counts allowed us to proceed with the chemo.  K was put under with Ketamine and the procedure took a total of 5 minutes (but a half hour from beginning to end).  Coming off the Ketamine, Kennedy was loving and silly as always and she continued to tell us how we had 4 eyes and 2 noses as she was coming off the drug.

Dr. Manera came downstairs from the hospital to spend some time with us.  Apparently we are still the only low risk diagnosis made this year based on the new protocol.  We are also the only one in clinic on K’s protocol.  Dr. M was very happy to see us and us him. Megan from Child Life also hung out with us while we waited.  We got to clinic around 9am and left at 12:30pm.

K and daddy with her cute little pigtails

After chemo we took her to eat and to Build-A-Bear.  The procedure wore her out so we went home to rest and later headed to the reading night at school.  This evening she has been complaining of nausea and back pain (from the pokey) but is overall in good spirits.

I must vent a bit   I have to say it is so frustrating going through what we did during the day and then walk into a public area (like school tonight) and see normalcy.  Nobody knows what our day was like but we do.  I’m intrigued that people can find importance in protecting peanut-free cookies and am amazed that we could get shamed for grabbing one when not allergic to nuts at tonight's book night.  When this stuff happens, I want to scream.   I mean seriously, do people even have a clue of what they stand for sometimes?  If there was a shortage of peanut-free cookies, I would have gladly gone to the stores and bought the whole shelf.  And it’s great they have cookies for kids allergic to peanuts or gluten but what about a special section for a cancer patient that can’t sit packed-in like a sardine with all the kids on the floor of the gym?  I mean, if a kid doesn’t get to eat a cookie, they will survive.  If my kid sits among the stuffy noses and coughing, she could be hospitalized. 

I understand the world doesn’t stop for Kennedy and I am fine that there wasn’t a special section available for her at school tonight.  But with that said, why should we protect cookies?  I'm sure the peanut allergy kids would be okay without special food even if they ran out - just like I was okay there wasn't a special area for a cancer kid.  Okay, enough ranting; I’ve had a long day and I’m probably not even making sense at this point. 

Great America visit October 2012

A quick overview of the last 3-weeks:  K loves school and has been doing great.  Kennedy is a daredevil and dragged us on both the Demon and Eagle at Great America last week and has been living it up like any normal kid.  She still has emotional outbursts and I’m not sure if they are chemically induced or just part of being 5.  She continues to take daily chemo of 6MP (Mercaptopurine) and weekly doses of Methotrexate.

Next in-clinic chemo round is steroids and Vincristine that falls around Thanksgiving.  In the meantime, any in-clinic visits will be blood-draws.  As the weather gets colder and flu season approaches, we are staying positive and praying that K stays healthy and happy and we only visit clinic for pre-scheduled treatment/blood draws.  

Keeping Busy

At Disney on Ice

An ambulance and fire truck were at our house today.  Thankfully, it was an error because Kennedy called 911 when her and Maddox fell while playing so she wanted to the call the doctor (no worries, no one was hurt).  I think Gene barely lost his mind when he drove up after work and saw that.  We are a bit stressed these days and never know what to expect.

K had clinic last Thursday and was shocked when she had to get a flu shot.  Yes, another pokey!  Her counts were good, too good; likely because we messed with her meds by giving her 6mp earlier in the day to try to evade the nausea.  We got our hand verbally slapped and we are back to giving the med before bed which means nausea is pretty constant; some days are good, some not.

With Emily and Kaitlyn

It’s almost October, almost 8 months since Kennedy was diagnosed.  These last 8 months have been tough.  We’ve made a lot of great new friends and we’ve also lost many friends that we have known seemingly a lifetime.  I’m sure with any major life occurrence this happens but some of it is hard to take when everything else in life seems so up in the air.  I can’t say I’m disappointed so many friends have disappeared from our lives as they probably weren’t that great of friends to begin with, but it does hurt sometimes to look around and realize that when we stopped trying (when K got sick), so did they – when we needed them most.

Gene and I smile when we tell Kennedy’s story now. We tell people everything is “fine”.  We say that we are “lucky” that Kennedy has this type of cancer.  Gene and I do what Gene and I do best, protect everyone but ourselves.  Perhaps if we announce this bs enough, we too believe it. 

At the Starlight Foundation event, picking a pumpkin

I have been too tired to blog about anything lately; we keep ourselves busy, almost too busy.  This is how we deal.  Kennedy has gotten to take part in Disney on Ice (thanks Jon Troy from Feld Entertainment), we went to a Starlight Foundation pumpkin event, we got to go on-field at a White Sox Game (thank you Amy at American Red Cross), and the list goes on.  I keep myself busy by obsessing with working-out and Gene buries himself with work.  It is just what we do to pretend life is normal.

So now that the shock of what has happened to K has worn off, I’m on to the “why”.  I learned that many of the Hurricane Katrina victims that were put up in trailers by FEMA attracted various types of cancer (which included Leukemia).  The cancers were attributed to the Formaldehyde the interior of  trailers are treated with.   When new trailers (and sometimes cars) are used in extreme heat, without airing it out, the toxicity is 400 times the legal limit when the formaldehyde turns to gas. The most common type of cancer associated with toxic trailers was AML Leukemia.  We recently ordered a formaldehyde test from toxictrailers.org and the buyers of our trailer agreed to test for it.  It’s not like it will change anything if it does test positive for formaldehyde since ALL Leukemia hasn’t been proven yet (and I’m no political guru for change), but I want to know if we caused this by bringing her there.  

For now, we just keep plugging along.  28 months left.

CureSearch Walk

Kennedy started kindergarten, a life occurrence we didn’t think would be possible 7 months ago.  We’ve come a long way.  Maintenance is not the cakewalk we thought it would be but it is one step closer to kicking cancer’s butt for good.  Kennedy now has morning sickness every day and her first few days of kindergarten were hell to get her out of the house.  Thankfully, a simple dose of Zofran nightly along with her oral chemo seems to do the trick for now.  If we had any concern that the nausea first reported 2 weeks ago was the flu or anything else, we are now pretty sure the oral chemo build-up is the culprit ,which is good and bad.  Good that it is not anything more serious, bad that we have 2 years of this left.

Other than her daily nausea, we’ve been living life hard.  We take our kids everywhere and live life to its fullest. 

Yesterday was the CureSearch walk and we are privileged to know so many wonderful and kind people.  The generosity seen from friends, family, acquaintances, colleagues and clients to help such a worthy cause has been humbling.  An old friend donated his dad’s birthday gifts to the cause.  His dad has also been battling cancer and just turned 70, they felt Curesearch was a good place for the gifts to go since no kid should have to go through what his dad has.  One of my best girlfriends got her whole workplace to kick-in to make her the single largest outside donor of our group.   There are so many stories of generosity it would take pages to list.  I am grateful to all the friends and family that came out to walk and give up their time early on a Saturday morning to support us in our battle. I am also grateful to those who couldn't make it to the walk but still contributed, every bit helps.

The walk was hard, not physically but mentally.  Walking from the parking garage to the event was overwhelmingly emotional.  Seeing the balloons released by all the families that lost a child or reading a poster about a little girl who died from AML at 11, was hard to digest.  I know I say it often but we are one of the lucky ones.  Kennedy’s cancer has definitely given the entire family a new perspective on life.  We know what matters, who are friends are and appreciate every chance we get to enjoy our life and everyone in it.

I am not numbering days on the blog anymore because it is honesty just to hard to keep up.  We are 7 months into treatment and have 23 months to go.  We are almost 25% done with stupid cancer.

Days 192 - 203

Kennedy's portrait for the Cure Search slide show

Look mom, no water wings!

Summer is almost over and Kennedy is going to start kindergarten next week.  When she was first diagnosed, that didn’t even seem possible.  We met with the school principal, nurse, social worker, kindergarten teacher and gym teacher last week and we have a plan to keep Kennedy safe.

Grandma, Auntie Julie and Kennedy

Arizona day out shopping

We got back from Arizona on Sunday; the kids had a blast.  Kennedy swam for 9 hours straight!  Julie treated the kids to a lot of fun, including crafts at Make Meaning where Kennedy decorated a birthday cake (including edible spray paint) for her cousin Ali and Maddox made soap for Ali’s birthday.  We did some shopping and a lot of eating.  We got to spend some much-needed time with grandma, auntie Julie and the cousins.  Although we had a blast, it is great to be home.  We aren’t the most organized family and I think our clutter was making Auntie crazy (that along with our dramatic son and non-eating daughter).  The flight to Arizona was LOONNGGG.  The flight was delayed for nearly 4 hours but otherwise, uneventful.  Kennedy wore a mask on the plane and they let us board first so we could wipe down the seat and her area.  Unfortunately, the trip back wasn’t as great.  Kennedy threw-up in the car on the way to the airport (the poor driver), in the airport and then again on the plane 2-3 times.  We are still not sure why.  We did give her some Zofran on the plane, which seemed to work.

At Clinic - love Maddox's choice of toys!

Today we had clinic.  Kennedy threw-up on the way to clinic, which was bad since I was driving and Maddox was in the back seat with K.  I felt bad there was nothing I could do but hand her the barf bag Gary gave us month’s back.  The doctors examined her ears to make sure she didn’t have an ear infection causing the nausea  but nothing was there.  Her counts were at 800 so the assumption is that she just has a tummy bug.  Being completely honest, the nausea and vomiting was so reminiscent of our return from Mexico, although we didn’t say it, Gene and I both thought the cancer could have been back but it was not something we gave much merit to.  She’s just a kid with a tummy bug, thank GOD!

Cancer?  What Cancer?

By the time we left clinic all was good but Kennedy got sick again on the way to lunch so we just headed home.  After some Zofran and some chill-time at home, I took Kennedy and Maddox to Extreme Trampoline, yes that’s how we roll – from puking to jumping.  Cancer, what cancer?  Our kid is normal and that’s how we try to live.

A little boy was diagnosed with brain cancer today in clinic.  As we sat on the other side of the curtain, I heard the pain and agony of the family being told the next steps.  Mom, dad, grandma and grandpa and Jordan (he’s 2), were there.  They couldn’t get the IV in and after several attempts and screams, I heard them explaining that a port would make things better.  Both Kennedy and I were in tears and Maddox asked to leave, it’s amazing how that feeling of just finding out returns.  As far as cancer goes, we are lucky with ALL Leukemia.  Please pray for Jordan and his wonderful family.  They need as many prayers as they can get right now. 

Lastly, thank you to all who have donated to the CureSearch walk.  We are kicking some butt in the war against childhood cancer and the money contributed will help find a cure for some tough forms of the disease.   We were asked to take a picture of Kennedy for a slide show for the event that expressed her journey through cancer.  My word was "hope", Kennedy's was "Never Give Up". If you haven’t done so already, please login to our page and walk with us on September 8.  http://www.curesearchwalk.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=1009283&lis=1&kntae1009283=C1B8853B38224340A74C694F784AB444&team=5165206&tlteam=4939253

Days 184 191

At Big Time Rush

It was a great week for Kennedy.  Her moods were still all over the place for the first few days after she stopped steroids but slowly she has turned back into our sweet little angel.  She had a great time at the Big Time Rush concert last Saturday and due to the crazy weather that night, her Bear Hug lasted from 4pm – 12pm and included a power outage and an acoustic performance by the band when we were rushed back stage to stay out of the torrential downpour.  It was quite the experience and we are grateful to Bear Necessities Pediatric Cancer Foundation for their program that allowed Miss. K to do this.

At Museum of Science and Industry

This past week I took the kids to the Museum of Science and Industry and dad hung out with Kennedy and took her to Pirate’s Cove and Miniature Golfing.  Both kids have been through a lot and it is nice to be able to spend special time with them.

At pirates Cove

On a very somber note, we said good-bye to a friend this week.  Last year we got to meet an amazing family that were neighbors to us at our new trailer.  Dave Rivera was diagnosed with liver cancer just one month after Kennedy was diagnosed and he passed away yesterday.  We will miss him dearly.

There is no cure for cancer but we are working on finding one by supporting CureSearch.  September 8, 2012, our entire family is participating in the 2012 Chicago CureSearch Walk to raise funds for children's cancer research. Every day, 36 children are diagnosed with children's cancer – 7 of these children will not survive; cancer is the leading cause of death by disease in children. Although the cure rate is now 78%, up from 40% over the last 20 years, it is not good enough. Our goal is a 100% cure rate and we need the assistance from our family and friends to help make this possible. 

To participate in the September 8th walk or to make a donation, visit our team web page at

http://www.curesearchwalk.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=1009283&lis=1&kntae1009283=35D40A72A86F4DE18E265D7FC15DB237&team=5165206&tlteam=4939253

We would love if you would walk with us, kids are welcome too!!!

Days 178- 183

Molly and K's hands

Thank goodness this round of steroids is done.  This week was just awful and roid rage was extreme.  It was difficult to leave the house without Kennedy having a meltdown backed by extreme frustration and spotty pain.  Leaving for work or anywhere was a challenge.  We noticed that she was easily distracted from the crabbiness and the pain by playing so we used it to our advantage.  Thanks to some last minute help on Tuesday and Wednesday, we all survived the week.

Tuesday morning, I texted Molly and she thankfully came over to play with Kennedy.  The 20 calls I received on Monday were reduced to about 10 on Tuesday.  Wednesday, Stephanie came over with all of the kids and Kennedy spent the afternoon painting everyone’s faces.   I am so thankful to both Molly and Steph, I’m not sure we would have made it through the week with the help!

K painting Kaitlyn's face

Thursday was clinic and her counts were through the roof due to the steroids (something like 16,000).  Dad took both kids to clinic because Maddox wanted to go and he thought it would be good to keep K distracted.  This clinic visit was not the best.  The nurses had to access her port twice, the first poke didn’t result in a blood draw and after trying to move the needle around a bit, they de-accessed and re-accessed her.  There was a lot of screaming and Kennedy was extremely upset.  It is not fair that Kennedy and all of the kids at clinic need to go through so much, so young.  Gene was emotionally drained by the end of yesterday, obviously traumatized by dual poke and Kennedy’s extreme mood swings.

Maddox and K at clinic

Maddox wanted to dictate a portion of the blog regarding clinic, so here it is…. “First we got there, then Kennedy was sitting in the big chair.  Then, we got a little hungry when we got into the new room and daddy gave us some chips.  Then we watched Home Alone and then she got the needle stuck into her chest two times.” 

K - today...happy, finally!

Today I put up the backyard water park and Steph came over with the kids again and they all played.  Kennedy is still extremely emotional but I can tell it’s already getting better by the smiles. 

Tomorrow is Kennedy’s Bear Necessities “Bear Hug”.  We are all headed to the Big Time Rush concert and Kennedy gets to meet the band.  She is very excited. 

We meet with the school next week to discuss Kennedy’s kindergarten special-needs.  So far the school has been extremely receptive and I really like the new principal.   A letter will be sent out to Kennedy’s class at the start of the school year to hopefully help incoming students understand why K is bald and the need for all of the sanitizer.

Day 177

Maintenance is not what we expected.  This roid run has been hell so far and we are only on day 3 of 7.  The chemo and the steroid mixture has completely changed our little cherub into a little devil.  She’s angry, impatient, clingy, crabby and worst of all, in pain.  This is a different experience than any we have had so far with med mixtures.  Instead of celebrating maintenance, we are filled with dread and fear for our suddenly very sick child.  This pit in my stomach will not go away.  She has handled treatment so well until now.  We knew the muscle pain would come with the steroids but it wasn’t supposed to come on day 2!  The roids that used to make her eat like crazy now makes her nauseas, add that to the headaches and pain and I want to scream.  Every smell disgusts her so she will barely eat.  It has been a very hard 2 days and we still have 5 to go. 

I haven’t felt the need to blog daily because I can usually handle everything but tonight, I’m at my limit.  I wish I could take her off treatment but unfortunately, if we stop, the cancer wins and that is NOT an option.  2 more years and 2 weeks left, please pray it gets better!  Cancer sucks!